Failure
by N. H. Moonshadow
Summary: Gabriel had failed in many things, and had failed his family most of all. Now, the Apocalypse was in full swing, and the End was Nigh. Maybe, just maybe, he could suceed in just one thing. (Companion Oneshot to The Gift, but can stand alone. Set in season 5)


**Failure**

When he saw Castiel stride in to rescue the two knuckleheads it was like a being sucker punched in the solar plexus. The angel had swooped in like an Avenger, all persistent and stern, fighing tooth and nail against him and his pocket dimentions, just to protect two humans that had been doomed from the very start.

That wasn't even the worst of it.

Castiel had become _attached_.

It didn't take a genius to see the the fondness Castiel held for them both, and Dean in particular. And not in the _I-brought-home-a-hamster_ kind of way.

There had been rumors on the grapevine. Angels on earth were a big thing, there hadn't been a confirmed sighting in _centuries_ , so news traveled fast. Word traveled faster when the one angel fixed themselves at the Winchester's side, and man the tizzy that caused among the monster community. The angel who became so loyal to a pair of humans that they turned their back on heaven to join in a hopeless crusade.

Of course it had to be Castiel.

At a glance, any diety worth their mojo could see that his grace was less than it should be. Being exactly who and what he was, Gabriel noted every little difference in the Seraph, from his newly blackened wings to his dimmed grace, which was leaking power like an old car leaks oil.

Castiel had clearly chosen where he stood in all of this, and would not be swayed, falling or not.

So stubborn.

Gadreel had been stubborn too. He had to be, honestly, especially when dealing with Gabriel and all of his shenanigans. It was one of the things that Gabriel had loved most about him. His brand of stubbornness had been a patient and steadfast thing, as vast and unmovable as a mountain range. He saw an echo of that same stubboness in Castiel, so very similar but tailor made to fit his own personality. It was there in the stiffness of his stance, and in the protective set of his wings, but colored with a touch more aggression.

It was so unfair that he saw Gadreel in him now, knowing that Castiel had been brainwashed to believe the worst about him.

His brothers had forced him to watch when Castiel had been reconditioned that first time, all those years ago. Michael and Raphael held him pinned, made him watch as every scrap of Gadreel was scrubbed clean from his memory by Naomi. Made him stay afterwards and forced him to reintroduce himself to his own fledgling, under the strict title of Brother. Held him back as one of the garrison leaders came and took him away.

But even after all that, and without any memories, Castiel had still managed to keep a tiny part of Gadreel with him.

Gabriel was torn between laughing hysterically at the Host, and raging at himself for not doing the same.

He underestimated the Winchesters, and he really, _really_ should have known better. They had managed to trick the trickster, outed him for what he was and then demanded he hand over Castiel. They stood there on the other side of the holy fire, threatening to deep fry him if he didn't give him back. There was no doubt that they would follow through with the threat. The intent was there, painted hot and vibrant right there on Dean's soul, ready to make good on his word. Angry and bitter, he was forced to give up his fledgling, _again_ , and he knew that this time it was for good.

Because Gabriel may have been pissed, but he wasn't blind. After assuring the two hunters that he was fine, the three of them stood together, side by side, and he saw the foundation laid out for what it was. Castiel had found himself a new flock, a new family that was ready to fight for him if necessary.

It hurt more than he thought it should.

Once the sprinklers killed the last of the flames holding him, Gabriel was stuck with the emotional fallout of that whole damn encounter. And it was bad. Fury, agony, despair, everything he didn't want to deal with, it all swirled inside him with all the rage and force of a hurricane that had nowhere to go. In a desperate attempt to distance himself, he descended on every grade-A douchebag within a 40 mile radius, letting the mask of Loki consume him as he tried to rebury Gabriel and everything he once stood for.

He was glad Gadreel couldn't see him now. He was so damned grateful his mate couldn't see this twisted and exaggerated thing he had warped himself into just to deal with the aching void his absence left in the very core of his being.

He was done.

He was done and he was going to stay out of it. He was.

It was officialy the damned End of Days, and if Castiel wanted throw his lot in with two idiots who wanted to stop a flood with a single lonely sand bag, well then that was his choice. He was an adult, and could make his own decisions.

And then the Pagan clusterfuck at Elysian Fields happened, and with the Winchesters right smack-dab in the middle of it.

As usual.

Only Castiel wasn't there to play guardian.

He tried to salvage the situation, but it quickly spiraled out of control, going from bad to _what-the-fuck-are-they-thinking?_ in the matter of an hour. He warned them. He warned them all, and he hated being right, especially when Lucifer arrived and painted the walls with the blood of gods. Lucifer was here for one thing, and nothing would stop him.

Nothing short of another archangel, anyway.

If he didn't step in, here, _now_ , Castiel would lose a second family.

Gabriel had failed again and again, and failed his own family most of all. He failed to rescue his mate. Failed to protect him from the lies spun by his own brother, and then the punishment wrongly passed to him. He had failed to keep their fledgling, failed to protect him from a whole different set of lies. Their family was shattered in the wake of Lucifer's original rebellion, and there was no picking up the pieces. That ship had long since sailed and there was no going back.

This family was still new, still evolving, and was trying to push towards a future that Gabriel couldn't see. But for their sake, he hoped it was there.

All he could do was try to give them a chance.

He prayed that it was enough.

And that he wouldn't fail in this.

 _end_

 **Author's Note:** Hello all! This is a short companion piece to "The Gift" which is set in season 9. Want to know what happens next? Please proceed to the story mentioned! I wanted to play with Gabriel's voice a bit, trying to explore this version of Gabriel before I move on to the larger story line in The Gift. I may ormay not rewrite this at a later date, maybe elaborate a bit more about Gabriel's time as Loki. We'll see.

For those already following The Gift and wondering, yes, I'm already working on the next chapter.

Thank you for reading, and as always feedback is much appreciated! Until next time, happy reading! -Shadow


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